If forgiveness is divine,then it is an aspect of the religious that we are called on to imitate,as much for our own good as for that of others.
When we are wounded by someone’s thoughtlessness,rejection or deliberate cruelty,we have two options before us:we can try to get even or pretend that we haven’t been hurt.The other option is forgive.
The most popular misconception about forgiveness is that when we forgive,we forget.Most of the time,we don’t forget.The woman who forgives her husband’s philandering is not asked to forget his weakness,but rather not to let the negative behavior direct their lives and stand in the way of building emotional bridges.
Try forgiving a friend who betrays your confidence,or a co-worker who lies about you.When the real effort of forgiveness takes place,it’s not easy at all;instinct urges us to pay back in kind.There is usually a pause between the anguish and the time when trust and love can take root again.Forgiveness is part of a process that begins with suffering and ends,as its final and long-range goal,with the event of reconciliation. It works only when we become aware of the depths and causes of the anger burning in us so that we can forgive wholeheartedly and ensure an enduring peace.A particularly helpful exercise in the process of forgiveness is to try to understand the one who is wounding us as a person and not just as the cause of our pain.
Forgiveness should come from within,and not to be a mere show of magnanimity;it should help the forgiver in all future dealings with the person who is forgiven.A declaration of forgiveness may appear as naive,weak,Utopian-sometimes even outrageous.We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate;we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity.
We can not escape from the prison of birth and death until we have cleared our karmic account.We should ask forgiveness of those we have wronged,while we are still living in this world.
Forgiveness depends on the situation and the people involved.In the end,all forgivers do the same thing:they restore the self-worth to the offender,they cancel a debt;they experience such peace that they lose the urge to retaliate and live as free person,unshackled by the weight of the suffering.
When we are wounded by someone’s thoughtlessness,rejection or deliberate cruelty,we have two options before us:we can try to get even or pretend that we haven’t been hurt.The other option is forgive.
The most popular misconception about forgiveness is that when we forgive,we forget.Most of the time,we don’t forget.The woman who forgives her husband’s philandering is not asked to forget his weakness,but rather not to let the negative behavior direct their lives and stand in the way of building emotional bridges.
Try forgiving a friend who betrays your confidence,or a co-worker who lies about you.When the real effort of forgiveness takes place,it’s not easy at all;instinct urges us to pay back in kind.There is usually a pause between the anguish and the time when trust and love can take root again.Forgiveness is part of a process that begins with suffering and ends,as its final and long-range goal,with the event of reconciliation. It works only when we become aware of the depths and causes of the anger burning in us so that we can forgive wholeheartedly and ensure an enduring peace.A particularly helpful exercise in the process of forgiveness is to try to understand the one who is wounding us as a person and not just as the cause of our pain.
Forgiveness should come from within,and not to be a mere show of magnanimity;it should help the forgiver in all future dealings with the person who is forgiven.A declaration of forgiveness may appear as naive,weak,Utopian-sometimes even outrageous.We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate;we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of enmity.
We can not escape from the prison of birth and death until we have cleared our karmic account.We should ask forgiveness of those we have wronged,while we are still living in this world.
Forgiveness depends on the situation and the people involved.In the end,all forgivers do the same thing:they restore the self-worth to the offender,they cancel a debt;they experience such peace that they lose the urge to retaliate and live as free person,unshackled by the weight of the suffering.
