WHAT IS SHYNESS:

Shyness is a feeling or Emotions That affects a persons behavior IN front of people. Shyness generally means feeling Uncomfortable and Nervous around others. You can say also shyness makes you feel timid or Insecure. When shyness overpower a person, that person shows physical sensations like speechless, shaky or breathless.
Everyone has shyness, it may be more or less. You can say shyness as hesitation. It may be hesitation to mix with people, hesitation to approach people, Hesitation to face people gathering. If You are shy in nature, It does not mean you are shy at everywhere. You are not shy with your parents, not with your brothers and sisters or close friends who know you better. On the other hand who says I am not shy it does not mean he is not shy anywhere. So Shyness mainly depends upon the situations.
Shyness depends on the situations and the person you are interacting. Someone may be shy IN front of girls but confident IN front of boys. Someone may be shy IN front of Elders but confident IN front of friends or youngers. Here it can be said you feel shy IN front of whom you think superior than you or overpowers you. You never feel shy whom you think same or inferior than you. It is clear that it is all about your minds thought and nothing else. It is your fear of facing people. Fear of their negative reactions.

Difference Between Shyness and Introvert:

Many People confuse between shyness and Introvert. They Think both are same. But In reality there is a big difference between shyness and introvert. The introverted child wants to remain at her desk and read a book because she finds being with all the other children stressful. The shy child wants to join the other children but remains at their desk because they are afraid to join them. Shyness involves fear of negative evaluation (and is a milder form of social anxiety), whereas introversion refers to a tendency toward becoming over-stimulated and the need to be alone to gain energy.

What Is The Causes Of Shyness:

The fear of rejection, Embarrassment and failure makes you shy. What people will think about you makes you do nothing but shy. Nobody Born as shy person. The question is where does the shyness come from ? Whether we remember or not some of our childhood incidents or memories make us shy. Everyone has different past. So everyone has different confidence level.
Here we can understand through simple example where the shyness come from. Let suppose a small kid pronounce R as L. He says Rahul as Lahul and Roti as Loti. At that time his family and friends must be making fun of his pronounce. That time the kid is not enough matured to understand the cause of fun of his family. So in his mind he only thinks if I speak everyone laughs. Like that suppose a kid cracks a joke but his close family and friends do not laugh rather told him your jokes are boring and you are boring too. Suppose in a class some one dares to stand and speak IN front of everyone. His class mates and teacher laughed at his mistakes. This type of small small incidents we all must have faced in childhood. That time our mind is immature and beliefs are under construction. We all have faced the same type of situations in childhood in life. The difference is someone’s environment make him forget all these negative incidents and makes his beliefs strong and confident. On the other hand if you face the same incidents everyday and feel the negativity everyday you lose your confidence and become more and more shy. That time you started thinking something is lacking in you and felt like a looser. You will think everyone is better than you. Everyone is doing better than you in life. The main cause of shyness is lack of appreciation. We never appreciate people and so we do not get also.

Effects Of Shyness On our Life:

You have an image of yourself in your family, school, friends and office. They all know you through that image. They know your nature through that image. You can not break that image over night. If you want to break that image and want to become something else you can not do it. It is because fear of what all these people will think about yourself. It makes you shy IN front of all these people and you are bound to do same thing and behave the same way as you were doing throughout life. You can not change your personality, attitude, your profession and live your passion due to this shyness and what these people will think about you.
The effect of shyness is vast in your life. You can not live your life the way you want to live. Always you are in a fear if anyone sees me doing this or that what will happen. You can not mix with people and enjoy openly due the fear of other people. You will always feel like there is hidden camera watching you and it will make you public and everybody will make fun of you. Your shyness makes you insecure about your looks, personality, profession and passion. You always feel like if I do so everyone will laugh at me. This fear will make your life hell. If you want to make friendship with your opposite gender but you can’t due to this shyness. You will loose your love due to this shyness. Shyness makes your confidence less and you fear to face people and interview and hence loose your dream job too. You can not live your passion and enjoy your life fully. Shyness makes your life powerless and meaningless. You are bound to live a life you do not want to live. Shyness prevents you to participate in any events and competitions at school or colleges. You can not play IN front of crowd due to shyness. Shyness makes your confidence so low that you start believing yourself as a looser. Shyness makes you accept the personality you don’t like at all. In overall shyness can make you a different person you do not want to become but bound to do so. You will feel like caged and your life become meaningless. You will only see other people enjoying , living their passion and getting success in their life but can do nothing for yourself. Shyness can make your life miserable.

Tips To Overcome Shyness:

As we all know shyness is not physical problem. It’s all about mental thinking. Your Thinking and beliefs make you shy. As the shyness enters inside our mind, we can drive it out too from our mind. Yes we can do it. It’s all about mental change and thought process change. If you can change your mind and what you belief your shyness will also go for ever. You can live the live you want to live. You can do it with tips as below.

1-Accept and Appreciate Yourself

It seems like difficult and very toff to do. But Accepting yourself for who you are is the first step to overcome shyness. Let say you want to be certain way because your society and people around you expecting you to be certain way. Remember You are who you are. You are who you are for a certain reason. The universe wants you to be in a certain way for a reason. May be you have some lessons to learn. So firstly accept yourself. At first it may seems like a joke to you, But as you continue to convince yourself it becomes your beliefs. Actually what ever you tell about yourself to yourself becomes your beliefs. Your Confidence level depends on your beliefs about yourself. The problem is till today You have told yourself only bad about yourself and complaining about yourself. You have never appreciate and accept yourself completely. Always keep thinking other guy is better than you but forget that you are the other guy for him too. Now you have to tell a different story about yourself to yourself. Appreciate yourself that you are perfect the way you are.

2-Find Your Front Row

Who is your front row. Let me explain you suppose you are performing in a stage then whom you want to be your front row audience. Naturally the people who encourage you, cherish you and love you unconditionally. That is your loving family and friends. To overcome shyness you should try with them first in your safe zone. Try to talk to them more, try to be open to them more. Gradually when you are comfortable within your comfort zone you can try it with strangers too. Gradually you can improve step by step.

3-Stop The Comparison Game

We all compare ourselves to so many people around the world. If you stop comparing yourself with people and are happy and content to be who you are, You will find people respect you more. You start respecting yourself more also. So learn that you are unique so as everyone else. All fruits in the same tree can not be equal so how can you compare yourself with another human being. Be yourself and learn to be comfortable with your own skin. Like it is always said people who are confident dressers enjoy the clothes they carry. Similarly if you are confident in the shell of your body and personality, you appear confident and relaxed. Then if you find any personality flow in you for example if you want to work on your shy nature, you can do it with lot of respect and self love. The key is do not put yourself down. You can overcome shyness only by respecting yourself, loving yourself and realizing that you are really unique.

4-Get Put Of Your Shell

As a shy person it seems very safe and comfortable to live inside the shell. But you have to break it if you really want to overcome your shy nature. For example as a shy person you may not go to certain places where a lot of people are there. You may not attend parties or go out with friends. You need to slowly come out of your shell and try to mix with people. But the real problem is how to start conversation with unknown people. Simply give a complement. Everyone likes complements. But our mentality is such we never complement people instead criticize them. A small complement can start a conversation. As human beings Habits are very important. If you make a habit of talking to strangers and socializing then slowly you will adapt to it and you will see your shyness has gone for ever.

5-Perfect Your Posture

 No one will be interested to talk to a person who appears slouching, Nervous, restless, timid, worried and just wants to go and hide in the corner. If you really want to overcome your shyness you have to pay attention to your posture. If you appear slouching and timid people will consider you not confident and they think you are shy and you do not like people. Then people will not approach you to talk. What you should do then. How ever nervous you feel stretch up your spine and appear confident. When you appear like that people will take you seriously and you will feel more confident than you really are. Over a period of time you start enjoying that confident in you and you will step out of your shyness.

6-Do not Give Up

In the beginning  all your efforts are going to be awkward, You will be uncomfortable and way out of your comfort zone. But that’s the way things will be worked out. Remember when you were a baby and you were learning to walk, you would not succeeded in first attempt. Your mother, family members would have helped you to put your first step. Then gradually you learnt to walk then ran fast. It’s like same thing you trying to do with your shyness. Remember one thing not everyone will be supportive , not everyone will be going to talk to you, you are going to face rejections, you are going to face certain awkwardness, you will feel discomfort with certain people. If some people treated you badly that does not mean whole world is bad. Make sure that you do not loose hope, make sure that you do not give up and you continue to make your efforts to overcome your shyness. Gradually, slowly and steadily you will put your shyness behind you.

7-Never Say Anyone You are Shy

It’s human nature that we tell people about our nature before the ask. Like that you tell people that you are shy by nature. You tell people about your shyness because you want to avoid speaking, participating in events and face people. It is mainly to keep pressure away from you. But you have to understand whenever you tell anyone about your shyness, you give him more power. You give him authority to over power you and make you feel more and more looser IN front of him. So If you really want to convert your shyness to confidence then you have to stop advertising your shyness to people. Appear smart and confident even though you are not. Gradually it will become your personality with regular practice.

8-Embrace Rejections

You must have noticed some people are fan of a particular actor while other people do not like him. Same things happens to comedians too. Some people laugh and enjoy his jokes while others find it boring. Here one thing is clear that how much you are attractive, intelligent, successful or funny you will not be liked by everybody. You can not please everyone. Some will appreciate you while others will reject you. In life you have to face rejections must. You can not avoid rejections in life. If you want to run away from rejections, your shyness increases more and more. If you accept rejections and be prepared for that your shyness will be finished. When your fear of rejections finishes your confidence level increases automatically.

9-Accept Your Mistakes

  You know mistakes are part of life. Mistakes make you human. You learn from your mistake and rectifying it grow in life. So next time when you fell you have made a mistake and everyone is laughing at you, making fun of you just be calm and instead of arguing and justifying your mistake accept it. When you accept your mistake you will work on it and rectify it. That’s how you grow. One mistake does not define you or your future. Those who judge you through your mistakes it’s their inability to see the real you. You no need to worry for that. For some people’s inability to understand you never underestimate yourself. So my dear friends never ever allow your mistakes make home in your mind. Accept it, rectify it and move on. That’s the real way towards success in life.

10-Make A List Of Things

You should make a list of all the activities that make you awkward, nervous, scared and uncomfortable. Make list of such tasks and commit to that list. Promise yourself that you will do all these tasks with sincerity without cheating. You can start with task which makes you less nervous and gradually you can increase your level. Slowly and steadily when you start practicing tasks from the list you will see yourself as more open, more confident and one fine day you will wipe away all your shyness.

Decide and Act:

There will be no results if you only take decisions but no actions. So my dear friends if you want to finish your shyness you must take actions. Instead of taking big steps you have to take small steps in the beginning.

(1)-Start Small

  Take small steps like go for a walk in the morning or evening. You need to walk in the opposite directions of people. Try to make eye contact with passing people and you can pass a smile too. Some will ignore you and some will give you smile in return. Never mind this step will definitely decrease your hesitation to face people and hence shyness.

(2)-Make conversations

You learn cycling by practically riding it and not just watching someone riding it. Like this if you want to overcome shyness you have to do it practically. You need to start conversation with people. You can talk people at bus stop waiting for bus, standing in a que or some where people gathering. Try ta talk to people. First find a topic to talk to people ,listen their views and then give your views. Like this you can talk to people. In the beginning there will be hesitation and trouble, but with practice you can do it as you learn cycling. In this world maximum people waiting for someone to listen them. You can become the one then gradually you can talk and they listen too.

(3)-Join Groups

   You can join social club, sports club and organizations in your local area. If you join such groups people will come to you and interact with you. You can share your specialty with them. At first you may feel uncomfortable but remember comfort comes from uncomforting.

(4)-Prepare yourself

              Suppose you are going to a place. Before that gather as much knowledge as possible about that place. Why that place is famous. What are the visiting places near it etc. If you gather knowledge you can get topic to talk to people easily. As you know many thing about that place and occasion you will appear confident too. People will be attracted towards you and wants to listen from you more.

Bottom Line:

 Slow and steady wins the race. Remember you may be a shy person and that’s nothing wrong with that. But deep inside of you there is hidden a wonderful human being with great personality. You need to remove the wrapping paper of your shyness and unleash your true personality. So my dear friends do not afraid to fail, rather be afraid not to try. Gradually you will see your old beliefs are broken and you have new beliefs with full of confidence. In your relationship, personality, career there will be a very big differences than earlier. Your life will be totally changed. You will be a totally different person.